Learning to Listen to the Divine Whisper

It has been a crazy past few months here. I have been facing the usual high school senior dilemmas regarding the "afterlife", so to speak, of high school- whether or not to go to college, whether I should go immediately or postpone it, what I would do in the meantime, and to which colleges I should apply. All of this on top of my normal activities- finishing up my schoolwork so I DO have a joyful afterlife, working, taking guitar lessons, and the million other household tasks. Ugh. Never before have I been so stressed out about the calendar and fast-approaching deadlines!

December 1st was the early admission deadline for my top-choice college. Early admission gives you first dibs for scholarship opportunities, as well as giving you some clarity as to what your college options are. I scrambled to get all the pieces of my application submitted by November 30, because I wouldn't be around to do it the next day. A wave of relief rolled over my shoulders as December 1st came and went because I knew I was one of the lucky few who had met the deadline.

This morning I received an email from the director of admissions. Apparently they had my entire application except my letter of recommendation, which my dad mailed over a week ago! The director told me that Dad could write a new letter and email it to him.

At the end of all this, I just want to laugh the laugh of a treasure-seeker who has searched the world for years for a priceless treasure, beautiful beyond all imagination. When he finally finds the treasure, in his exultation he slips on the damp floor of the cave and the treasure slides out of his hands and into the fiery mouth of the volcano. There are only two possible reactions: to weep or to laugh. He begins to laugh.

Perhaps my problem is I am too anxious to discover God's plan for my life. I stress out too much about what it could be, and the fastest way of obtaining it. Hence, I will run in all directions hoping that I will find a billboard screaming "THIS IS IT". But of course that is not how God works. I need to remember how God spoke to Elias: not in the wind; not in the earthquake; not in the fire; rather, in the whistling of a gentle air.

This morning while I was thinking about all this, it dawned on me. I already know what God's plan for me in this life is! As a matter of fact, it is what the Church has been telling me my entire life!! Baltimore Catechism, Lesson 1, Question 6:

Q. Why did God make you?

A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.

That is exactly what I have been looking for, right in front of me the entire time! As long as I truly know God, love Him, and desire to serve Him, everything else will fall into place!! I don't need to worry about the college I go to, or whether I am to be married or enter a convent. God will tell me in a whisper when I can no longer serve Him in my current situation. He will lead me on the path to Him. All I need to do is to follow. If I know Him, love Him, and serve Him in every "now", I will forever be living His plan for my life.

P.S. All the above was written 10 minutes ago. Nine minutes ago I received a phone call from a college granting me an extension to a scholarship deadline. I now need to write a 7-page essay worth $90,000 by midnight!!! So now I'm munching on chocolate trying hard to not be stressed...!!!